Since my last blog, I have moved out of my house and into an apartment with one of my closest friends. It's been a bit of an adjustment, but every day I'm getting more and more comfortable and it's starting to feel like home. He isn't charging me rent because he knows I'm planning on leaving Michigan after my divorce is finalized. I just have to pay for food and I'm all set. It's very nice of him to do that for me and I'm so lucky to have such a good friend. It's nice to not have to walk on eggshells all the time like I had to before. I can be myself and it's the most liberating feeling. I had to sacrifice so much of my personality to be with my husband, and I'm not going to let that happen again. If I ever find somebody (well, I should say if somebody is willing to put up with my craziness), he'll have to love me for me and that's it. If he can't, byeeee.
I had a very bittersweet weekend. Friday was the first recital for the kids 8 and younger. My little ones did a great job and I was so proud of them! Saturday, after working for 6 hours at the gym, I had to go to the other recital for the older students. They all did amazing! I absolutely love watching my choreography take shape on stage. It makes me feel like I'm doing something good. I was really proud of all of my pieces this year and of my students who are excited about my choreography. After the recital at the little after party we have every year, I broke the news to everyone that I wasn't going to be there next year. That news did not go over well at all. The students who weren't furious at me were crying. Then the furious ones started crying and then we all were crying. It was kind of a mess. It was so nice to feel so loved. I haven't felt that way in a very long time, but, after that night I felt like people needed me. Like they wanted me around. Most of them were trying to convince me not to go and bargaining with me that if I stayed they'd all "try to get better" at ballet. It broke my heart because that wasn't the issue at all. I have very talented students! I need to move on. After this divorce, there is nothing left for me here in Michigan. It's time to move on and I know they all understand that now, but it hurt at the time. I'm fortunate that at my age I know what I want to do with my life. Actually, scratch that, I know what I NEED to be doing with my life. I feel like my purpose in life is to teach dance technique and to pass on my love and passion for dance to others. I've done that here. My job is done. I will miss every single one of my kids. They have taught me so much about being a better dance teacher and a better person. I'll never forget them.
On another note, I've found another way of making a little extra money on the side. It's not much, but, I finally started charging people for Tarot readings and automatic writings. I was starting to feel taken advantage of, so now I can at least feel that way, but with a few extra dollars in my pocket. I'll still do some for free, but, not very many people get that privilege!
I've been feeling much more peaceful lately. I'm completely at peace with my current situation and am going to welcome the next chapter of my life with open arms. I'll never have all the answers that I want, but that's OK. I don't need to know. All I know is that it didn't work out, so all I can do is move on and finally be happy. It's an amazing feeling!
So, that's about it!
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